11/20/2023 0 Comments Ways to catch a thief![]() A little more evidence but nothing to lose. Get over it-if you’ve decided you aren’t going to speak up, accept responsibility for that choice and decide how you’ll deal with the future.ģ. They waste time feeling resentful about reality rather than simply accepting their own assessment and making a hard choice to either a) adapt to the insecure environment by securing your valuables or b) move. ![]() The big mistake people make in this situation is indecision. In this situation, you’ve concluded that the potential upside of a conversation is not worth the downside risk of conflict. You have a number of reasons to suspect her (e.g., she had two $100 bills when you went out to eat last night) but have reasons to believe a conversation would do more harm than good (she has a hot temper and carries a Taser). A little more evidence but a lot of fear. But, I don’t recommend this very vague approach if you have more reason to suspect your roommate.Ģ. Have you had anything come up missing recently?” If your roommate was involved, this conversation will either put her on notice that you’re aware of something fishy or lay the groundwork for a future, more direct, conversation. I left it in the kitchen and this morning they were gone. Simply say something like, “Last night, I had two $100 bills in my purse. If your roommate had nothing to do with it, this will help involve her in the search or alert her to problems that could continue to plague both of you. Share the facts-not your story (that you wonder if your roommate stole it). In this circumstance you should bring up the missing money. In other words, you don’t think she stole it but you can’t think of any other explanation. The only reason you’re even thinking your roommate may have taken your money is by process of elimination. So I’ll offer some advice for three scenarios. Of course, what you do depends upon the strength of the story you’re currently telling yourself. You’re humble enough to be wrong and caring enough to worry about the impact of your approach. On the other hand, this is also the best time to speak up because you are in exactly the right frame of mind for real dialogue. You doubt yourself and you don’t want to cause pain to a potentially innocent person. One of the hardest times to motivate yourself to speak up is when you aren’t whipped-up in righteous indignation. And yet, it’s hard to see this new roommate as a thief. You can’t generate any plausible explanation other than theft. And I definitely can’t imagine her saying “yes” even if she really did take the money. I’m not sure how to ask her without making her feel unsafe. How would you approach this confrontation? Our relationship is neither strong nor bad, just fairly new. Someone stole money from me and I have a hunch it was a roommate. ![]() The following article was first published on January 23, 2008. ![]()
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